Before the author was signed by the Orioles, he had a tryout at Forbes Field for the Pirates. After firing nothing but fastballs, a coach asked him if he had anything else ...

I said, "Yeah, I have this curve ball." This coach says, "Let me see it." I threw a couple of curves, and he says, "Son, you can stick that up your ***. You ain't gonna make it." He didn't even give me a chance to finish throwing. They told me, "See you later, son." Of course, I was heartbroken.

Sparky mentioned two pranks pulled on The Stick that had me doubled over when I read them ... I won't spoil it if you plan to read the book. However, they were prefaced with comments like, "Gene is scared of any little thing that moves. Gene is afraid of an ant."

Feb. 28, Ft. Lauderdale:

Gossage was pitching batting practice, and after throwing a couple of pitches to Piniella, Goose sailed a burner right by Lou's head. Lou dropped his bat and walked away. He yelled over to George, who was watching practice, "Hey, George, how 'bout signing some outfielders, huh?"

Apr. 10, Arlington:

We weren't doing too hot in spring training last year - as usual - and as usual George was hollering at us, and Dock told a reporter, "The more we lose, the more Steinbrenner will fly in. And the more he flies, the better the chance there will be a plane crash."

April 13, New York (home opener ... fans showered field with Reggie candy bars after Jackson homered)

A few of the candy bars being thrown from the bleachers fell into the bullpen. Holtzman retrieved one, unwrapped it, and took a bite out of it. He said it tasted like cowflop.

April 18, New York:

Cat also said, "When you unwrap a Reggie Bar, it tells you how good it is."

April 24, Baltimore:

Sailing along with an 8 to 0 lead in the fifth, Gid swallowed a gob of tobacco juice when Rich Dauer hit a ball back at him through the middle ... he pitched for another inning, went into the clubhouse, and threw up.

May 5, New York:

Among the letters Ellie got in the mail today was an application to join the Society for the Preservation of Whales. Ellie says that he keeps getting this whale literature and thinks Fritz Peterson is the guy who is sending it to him ... Ellie was always wearing this big rubber belt around his waist to slim his stomach, and he called that a tuna belt. The boiler was his big belly, so Fritz named him Boilerston Tuna Howard. Ellie used to get p***ed all the time when Fritz called him that, so Fritz used to send him literature on tunas and whales and weight-reducing pamphlets.

As soon as the whale stuff came, Ellie immediately said, "That son-**-*-***** Peterson, I know it's coming from him." But he didn't really. That's what made Peterson the greatest practical joker I ever saw.

May 12, Kansas City:

The Yankees officially announced that Healy had asked for his retirement ..,., but when I got to the ball park today, there he was, only he was wearing a suit and tie and he was carrying a tape recorder. The Yankees, it turned out, made him one of their radio announcers ... Piniella said, "Yeah, he had to quit baseball to become a star."

May 21, Toronto:

Rawly's getting married tomorrow. Tonight, before I left the park, I went over and shook his hand. He was kind of nervous about it, and I told him to get a good night's sleep. I told him, "Don't worry. Things'll work out. She can only take half your salary."