I get the crappy autographs

by Jgamble - 103 cards (Last updated on Nov 15, 2022)

1. 1994 Signature Rookies Draft Picks - Signatures #43 Brian Stephenson

2nd round (49) pick by the Cubs in the 1994 draft. Brian got as high as AA before bumming out in 2001 with the Jacksonville Suns and eventually becoming a scout in the Dodgers.

Auto looks like "Ber Fliphans"

2. 1994 Signature Rookies Draft Picks - Signatures #67 Greg Whiteman

Greg Whiteman. 3rd round (81) pick by the Tigers in the 1994 draft. Whiteman can jump around the mid level minors, making it all the way to the AA Reading Phillies. 2 games was all it took in Clearwater for the Phils to decide Greg couldn't cut it.

Auto is fine. Looks like he's signing a mortgage or something.

3. 1994 Signature Rookies Tetrad - Autographs #XCVII Bill Pulsipher

2nd round (66) pick by the Mets in the 1991 draft. I remember him briefly coming through Generation K, a vaunted early 90s Mets rotation that was gonna feature him, Paul Wilson, Jason Isringhausen, and some other dude. It didn't pan out because they all seemingly got simultaneously injured by being Mets pitchers.

Auto looks like B Pijs.

4. 1996 Leaf Signature Series - Extended Autographs #NNO Doug Strange

7th round (184) pick by the Tigers in the 1985 draft. I remember this cat during the lean years as a Tiger fan around the turn of 1990. Just useless. He spent time in a few organizations before flaming out in 2000 in the Braves organization. He now works for the Pirates, no doubt wisely building a longtime winner.

Auto looks like "Dog Stay"

5. 1997 Donruss Signature - Millennium Autographs #NNO Rafael Medina

Donruss execs: "We need to fill out the set. Let's just grab whoever and not even put a number on the card." I'm still not sure this person even exists.

Auto looks like "Pufal 'ndia"

6. 2000 Royal Rookies - Autographs #33 Brett Caradonna

1st round (34) pick by the White Sox in the 1997 draft, which was a bummer of a draft year anyway. He got as far as AAA in 2002 with the Charlotte Knights before flaming out. He is absent from the Internet as far as my Google-fu goes.

Auto looks like "3rd Can"

7. 2000 Team Best Rookies - Autographs #NNO Mike Meyers

72nd round (1619) pick by the Astros in the 1995 draft. That's right. The entire population of Scranton PA was drafted prior to this friendly Canuck. And no, I'm not making an Austin Powers joke. Or a Wayne's World joke for you senior citizens.

Auto looks like "Zil Zays"

8. 2004 Leaf - Autographs Second Edition #163 Edwin Almonte

26th round of the 1998 draft by the White Sox. Buh...He had a 2 month stint with the Mets in 2003 that was largely inconsequential. Much like this card.

Auto looks like HALT!

9. 2004 Leaf Certified Materials #255 Ivan Ochoa

GUHHH Ochoa is how many seconds his career lasted.

Auto looks like a lot of it was erased, and that it belongs to someone else.

10. 2004 SP Prospects #316 Jon Poterson

1st round (37) pick by the Yankees in the 2004 draft. Chris Iannetta was still available at the catching position, but not even the pros know how to evaluate amateur talent, so I don't blame the Yankees. I don't understand the name "Poterson" either. He never got above A-ball, and played like crap in an independent league as late as 2009. It looks like he can whistle though.

Auto looks like a series of Egyptian heiroglyphics.



Apr 7, 2019 - 2:33PM
Apr 7, 2019 - 3:51PM

Steve Hammond must have been listening to a Conway Twitty record when he signed his name.  Best list I've read in a while.  I almost want to buy some cheap scrub autos and mail them to you, just to read your evaluations .

Apr 7, 2019 - 5:13PM

@switzr1 I'd take them. That would be fun. 

@C2Cigars That's cool for him! Glad he's teaching.

Apr 7, 2019 - 7:03PM

‘Auto looks like a Ross Perot self portriat’ I did literally laugh out loud, and my wife looked at me and rolled her eyes 😆

May 11, 2019 - 9:56AM

Dude, I think Eddie Rosario read your preseason comments and decided to play himself off your list.  Currently leading the American League in home runs, as of May 10. And it's all because of you!!

May 21, 2019 - 4:57AM

This list made me laugh more than a few times.  :D

May 23, 2019 - 7:38PM

Hahaha .. I like this list... The part I like most is the last portion of each comment where it says "Auto looks like .... "  ... Some of those are funny.

Jul 31, 2019 - 11:57PM

Fun list. In all seriousness, I'd be interested in any of the Houston ones, if you've still got them. I can send you some more flameouts for the list if you like.

Jan 10, 2020 - 3:06PM


Jan 16, 2020 - 7:33AM

hey, dont throw shade at the Vanimal!

Jan 25, 2020 - 5:26PM

Yes, that vrooomed's autograph is absolutely terrible. Even a drunk chicken with a pen in it's claw could do a better job! Even the military wouldn't draft that asthmatic candy-[ahem]. So, no, he was never drafted. Drafty, many times.

Jan 31, 2020 - 1:16AM

#49 in your list reminded me of an AUTO I once pulled from one of those $5 dollar Walgreens 100-card packs of random cards that guarantees a "hit" (an AUTO) in 1 out of every 4 packs. I pulled a bumb who was a former prospect of the Angels named Chevy Clarke. His Auto looks sort of like an inverted bow and arrow. The Auto I pulled was this one from 2010 Donruss Elite Extra Edition, what a bumb: https://www.ebay.com/itm/2010-Donruss-Elite-2-Card-Chevez-Chevy-Clarke-Auto-Autograph-Lot/143231950253?hash=item21594a1dad:g:l84AAOSwN3lcxeiB:sc:USPSFirstClass!72205!US!-1



Feb 26, 2021 - 6:43PM

Your style of humor in this list makes me laugh.  You got jokes, Gambler!

Feb 26, 2021 - 9:07PM

" Not an autograph, but I am too stupid to figure out how to remove cards from lists " lmao

Apr 4, 2021 - 9:39PM

Edited on: Apr 4, 2021 - 9:43PM

Oct 26, 2021 - 9:57PM

I bet buying those crappy 100 card cheap boxes from BigLots or Walgreens really helped with adding to this list!

Oct 28, 2021 - 9:11PM


Edited on: Nov 16, 2022 - 5:58PM

Nov 19, 2021 - 9:51AM

This is a good list

The commentary absolutely makes it great

Jan 9, 2022 - 9:35AM

Gotta get back to some trading today, but reading through the first 10 was a riot.  Will have to come back and read through the rest...too much fun!

Nov 16, 2022 - 3:15AM

Some of these got a chuckle out of me.. 

Orlando Cabrera was an Undrafted Free Agent in 1993.. 

I would have loved to get that Vidro.. 

Instead I get some random guy who never made it anywhere in Seattle or Laz Diaz... lol 

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This list was created by site member Jgamble. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the Trading Card Database.


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