Beer League Brawlersby Jgamble - 42 cards (Last updated on Apr 7, 2022) |
1. 1987 Donruss #445 Bob Kearney
Hey, I'm Bob. I almost had to tell the coach I wasn't gonna make it tonight, my sweet '87 Trans Am T-top was acting up so I had to get Sheila to drive me. I left my mitt in my car so I need to borrow one from the other team.
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2. 1990 Topps #411 Ken Phelps
Hello friends, I'm Ken. I'm a deacon at Oakdale Baptist and I won't step in and play unless everyone else has had a chance. My twin brother Ned is Homer Simpson's neighbor. I like to pitch and toss those easy floaters so the other team can just smash em and feel good about themselves.
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3. 1992 Topps #312 Mike LaValliere
I'm Mike, I'm recently divorced. Turns out I love my motorcycle more than my latest wife. Too bad, because I led the softball league in homers with 13 last year and chicks dig the long ball. Even though we don't need the catcher's gear, I like wearing it. Makes me look imposing.
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4. 1993 Upper Deck #699 David Wells
Whats up, it's Dave. I'm all like "Yo sign me up for slo-pitch" when the list goes around, but I'm like coach, I am gonna be up north at the lake with my boat most of the summer. I'm good for a game or two each summer though. Orioles scouted me back in high school, so I'm better than most of these scrubs.
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5. 1998 Topps #374 Cecil Fielder
Hey guys, Cecil here. I tell you what, it's time for some hang-it-and-bang-it. Just get it somewhere near the plate and I'll hit it over that barn. That is, if I don't throw my back out with a monster whiff. Dag. Doc says I need to wear two knee braces but I ain't goin' out there like no punk.
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6. 1992 Topps #181 Hector Villanueva
Hector here, let's cut to the chase ok, you don't like me and I don't like you. I'll get to the field when I get to the field. Don't worry about how I play in jeans and work boots, I could go across town and play for Georgetown Reformed Church ok? Ok.
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7. 1988 Topps #783 Ron Roenicke
Is this the team where you'll let me smoke on the field? I keep a pack of Dorals under my hat. My doc actually tells me to smoke so I won't get all antsy and want to shoot stuff on my property, a junkyard I inherited from my wife and my's uncle.
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8. 1992 Topps #70 Gary Gaetti
Guys do me a favor and leave me alone, I have to stretch. Check out this bat bag, I'm the only guy on the team with a bat bag. Isn't this bat bag something? I got it at Dunhams. What? Whatever, I wear this flapless helmet because it looks cool and I do what I want.
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9. 2018 Topps Heritage #84 Mike Clevinger
Hey I'm Mike, I'm Dave's son. He wants me out here on the team because sports builds character and stuff or whatever. Are there any girls that come out and see these games? Just askin' for a friend. I just thought there'd be more girls out here watching slow-pitch.
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10. 1987 Topps #678 Carney Lansford
Oh my gosh have you seen that Mike kid? I think his name is Mike. I don't think he even loves the game as much as the rest of us. He probably doesn't even know who Ken Griffey Junior is. You think he knows who Ken Griffey Junior is? You ask him. OK, nevermind I'll ask him. I think his name is Mike. Gosh.
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Comments
Good stuff here! | ||
Hah, this is excellent. With many years of softball under my belt I can say the only guy you are missing is the one who shows up to practice and says "I'm playin' short and batting third or I don't play at all". | ||
Love this had me laughing. I know there are a bunch more you can add to this list. | ||
This list!!!!
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For pure "This doesn't look like a major leaguer", 1990 Upper Deck Randy McCament is always a top card for me. | ||
"Unfortunate hacksaw attack" really got me. | ||
Keep 'em coming! We need a batboy, scorekeeper, and maybe some wives and girlfriends. | ||
HAHHAHAHA NAPA AUTO PARTS Stockroom for Clevinger HAHAHHA ... THis list is hilarious. And Cecil Fielder teaching Shop Class. This is the Blue Collar of all Blue Collar lists out there man! I love it. Guys that do the work that built the country. Guys that put their lives on the line every day when they clock in. They deserve a cold six-pack every night after they come home. Let me add one for you... Stand by I'm going to come up with one... | ||
Now that there is one funny list. Thanks for sharing. Needed a good laugh! | ||
Walk up song - "Hocus Pocus" by Focus. I bet he lip-synchs the yodeling. This is fantastic! (Consider adding Paul Gibson, Mike Cubbage, and Chris Sabo??) | ||
Absolutely hilarious and insanely accurate. | ||
I'd add more modern cards, but nobody looks like a buffoon on anything later than about 1993 in general. | ||
Salem Lights really got me from this new set. | ||
Bob Hamelin and Billy Butler would fit right in. Hamelin's first minor league card would be great and anybody with the nickname "Country Breakfast" like Butler would fit right in. I just wish Topps would have made a card of his actions when he stole a base in the 2014 ALDS. |